


Under Starry Skies We are Lost

by Emilia676



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Intersex Loki, Jötunn Loki, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-28 21:55:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5107094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emilia676/pseuds/Emilia676
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is expecting his and Thor's first child. However, there are more complications than either of them would have guessed, leaving them to test the foundations of their relationship. </p>
<p>“Who was your partner, Loki?”<br/>For a few tense moments, neither Loki nor Thor said a word.<br/>It occurred to Loki that he could easily lie – a nameless man from a drunken night, pretend to not know where he was now. What was worse, looking like a careless slut for a stranger or for his <em>brother</em>?<br/>“I was,” came Thor’s voice, not even cracking. Had he been watching this as a scene in some play, Loki would have reveled in the moment’s delicious discomfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Under Starry Skies We are Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this can be read by itself, though it's intended to be a sequel to "Breath of Life." Big thanks to Nora for her help :) Enjoy!
> 
> If interested, my tumblr is emilybailey6

“Shall we race, brother?” Thor asked Loki as they came upon a large, open field. 

Loki hummed quietly, his gaze going to the trees in the distance. The sun shone bright and hot on this day, hardly a cloud in the sky. 

“If you wish,” Loki answered, a small smile in place. Thor knew that he was trying to conceal how confident he was in winning. “And what goes to the winner?” 

Loki never competed for its own sake; there needed to be some sort of stakes involved. He absentmindedly pet the coarse, black mane of his horse, contrasting prettily with his nimble fingers, always pale even in this season. 

“The winner may choose a prize upon his victory,” Thor said with a grin. 

“Oh, very good,” Loki said and looked at him, and from his expression Thor already knew he would lose. 

***

Thor never minded losing to his brother, not really. He should have known that when it came to speed, Loki’s slender body would always give him the advantage. 

At the end of the field, just beyond the trees to which they had raced, there was a clear pond. They dismounted and let their horses roam freely to either drink or graze; they were obedient enough not to wander far from sight. 

Thor smiled and approached Loki, who had just taken off his riding boots and was dipping his toes into the water. 

“Might I inquire as to the victor’s reward?”

“You might, but the victor would have more time to think on it.” Loki paid him no heed as he watched the ripples of the water, and while Thor was generally not the most prolific opportunist, he crept behind his brother with mounting amusement. 

“Perhaps you’ve suffered too long in the heat,” Thor said and grabbed Loki’s hips, who realized what was happening too late to start struggling fully, “but I know just the remedy!”

And, ignoring his warning cry of _Thor! Don’t you dare!_ , he easily threw Loki’s wriggling body into the water. The splash that erupted was glorious. 

***

“You are insufferable,” Loki quipped at him, but there was no real bite to his words. 

“Am I?” Thor called. They had by now both stripped, their clothes drying on nearby rocks while they passed the time in the water. 

“Exceedingly.” 

Thor swam right up to his waiting brother, who regarded him evenly. Pulling him close, Thor laughed as Loki halfheartedly pushed at his shoulders. If Loki really wanted to get away, he would have simply done so. 

“Even now?” Thor asked and placed light kisses all over Loki’s face. 

“ _Especially_ so,” he said, though Thor knew not to believe a word of it, not when his kiss that fell on Loki’s lips was met with a telling willingness, and the hands that once feigned struggle cradled his head to keep him close. 

***

It was but a few weeks into summer, and even Thor found Asgard to be remarkably hot. Loki never seemed to tire of voicing his displeasure at the sun’s relentless heat, no matter where they were. Thor drew great amusement from it; he always teased Loki for his fair complexion and his tendency to wilt faster in heat than any flower Thor had ever seen. 

It was endearing above all else, and gave Thor a reason to dote on his brother when others were not looking. 

***

Walking down the dark corridor together, Thor kept glancing sideways at Loki as they spoke. He knew not what it was but there was something different in his aura, something pleasant. Almost like he was happier, though in that quiet way of his – the way that usually only Thor and their mother noticed. He was not prone to outbursts of emotion like Thor, but he could sense in Loki some underlying current below his composed demeanor. 

He dared not ask of it, for Loki would likely call him absurd (even if there was truth to what Thor thought). Thor would be told of any news when Loki chose to share it. In the meantime, if he was happy, Thor was happy. 

As they went, he found that he could no longer follow Loki’s words, his voice flowing smooth and melodious, as though from a siren. And like a doomed sailor, Thor was hopelessly enraptured. 

Loki _oomfed_ in surprise when his back hit the wall, but he melted readily enough into Thor’s embrace. He closed his eyes, and when Thor did not kiss him immediately, he opened them again. Instead, Thor tipped his chin up – a somewhat humorous gesture, given how similar in height they were – and had his fill of his brother’s face. 

Loki returned his gaze, a small smile blooming on his delicate lips. He was beautiful; Thor had always thought so. A moon to his sun. 

_There is something different about you_ , Thor wanted to say. 

“Do you mean to stare all day?” Loki asked him. 

A sudden urge to rub their noses together entered Thor’s mind, but he refrained, knowing Loki sometimes did not respond well to what he called _childish_ forms of affection. No, rather than answer at all, Thor gripped his chin a little harder and then their lips were brushing lightly. 

His hand moved downward, slowly dragging until his fingers curled around Loki’s neck. Their lips moved with a lazy hunger, an unhurried interest. It pleased Thor when their mouths parted, the kiss deepening like they were fitting puzzle pieces together. 

“There is something I would tell you,” Loki breathed when Thor finally pulled back. 

“Then I would listen,” Thor answered. He looked into green eyes and thought he had surely imagined that a nervous glint had crept there. 

Yet Loki did not speak right away, and it amused Thor, for his brother was never at a loss for words. He pushed dark strands from Loki’s face, trying to show that he could be patient. 

“I…” Loki began and frowned. His hold on Thor’s shoulders tightened. “I am not feeling well.” 

Thor held him close. “What ails you?” 

Loki, however, was no longer looking at him, his eyes unfocused. His hands clenched the back of Thor’s shirt as though he was an anchor (and perhaps, in this moment, he was). His breathing rapidly became more and more labored.

“Loki, what is it? What's wrong?” Panic had latched onto Thor’s voice. Loki very rarely became ill, and Thor knew nothing of how to address whatever was happening. 

Loki suddenly used what seemed to be all his energy in shoving Thor away, who was so surprised by the action that Loki succeeded for a moment. In that short time, without Thor’s strength, he fell back against the wall and slid gracelessly to the floor. 

When Thor bent down, he could hear Loki whispering. 

“So hot, too hot…” He was pressing his cheek against the cold wall, oblivious to anything Thor might be doing. 

Thor tried not to crowd him, afraid of adding too much body heat to Loki’s predicament. He noticed the sweat that had gathered on Loki’s forehead in such a short time, and it pained him to watch his fingers, usually so deft, weakly pull at the buttons of his clothing. 

It was simply bizarre. Loki had never before had such an intense reaction to heat, and they were not even outdoors. In fact, there was not even any day light outside! What could possibly be the matter? 

Ignoring Loki’s displeased grunt when he scooped him up, Thor headed quickly in the direction of the healers. Too far gone for any real protest, Loki settled into Thor’s arms, his eyes closing as he laid his head on Thor’s shoulder. 

***

When Loki opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was the cool bed beneath him. It was wonderful compared to the awful heat that had consumed him – minutes ago? Hours? But he still felt tired, drained of energy, so he did not bother moving. 

It was only moments later that Thor appeared over him, a tentative smile on his face. Loki felt a little better upon seeing him. 

“What has happened?” Loki asked. 

Thor took his hand in both of his and squeezed it gently. “You were unconscious. I brought you to the healers because I knew not what else I could do.”

Loki could tell that something was off by the way Thor averted his gaze after that. 

“Well?” he prodded. “What did they say?”

Thor took a deep breath. He opened his mouth, but remained silent. Loki only just stopped himself from rolling his eyes. 

“ _Thor_. Tell me.” 

A few more seconds passed. Finally, Thor moved one of his hands to slide onto Loki’s bare stomach, barely placing any weight there, his eyes following the movement. A few more seconds. Loki enjoyed the soothing way that his rough, familiar fingers rubbed in circles on his skin. Thor’s eyes glanced up from Loki’s stomach to his face, and gave it all away. 

_Oh_. Loki felt a blush splashing across his cheeks.

His announcement had been spoiled, damn it all.

Loki could hear the question that his brother currently gave no voice to, could see both hope and fear in his open, honest expression as he looked back at Thor steadily. Over the last four weeks or so, Loki had wondered countless times of how he would break the news; he never considered once that it might be broken for him. That was carelessness on his part.

And now, looking at Thor who was impossibly so many things to him, who loved Loki equally in every role he adorned, he felt overwhelmed by it all, and did not know what to say. 

***

Loki did not slip into unconsciousness again, but he also did not truly improve over the next three days. They had kept the healers from spreading the word of Loki’s condition, only because Loki had begged Thor not to tell their parents, _just not yet, please Thor_ , and Thor could not refuse him. 

But he still complained of the heat, even with his temperature being regulated at a minimum. He had not the strength to walk more steps than it took him to get to the bathroom and back, and even then Thor accompanied him at all times. 

He loathed feeling like this, like he was in a limbo of some kind. Thor could neither truly appreciate nor celebrate the discovery of Loki’s pregnancy – because until he was well again, who knew if their child was well, either?

Still, despite everything, Thor could not stop grinning whenever he thought of it. _Their_ child. He had waited until they were alone the first night of Loki’s bedrest to quietly voice his excitement; he had teared up and was teased ruthlessly for it by his brother, but Thor did not care. He crawled in the bed with Loki, allowed only to touch his stomach and sneak the lightest of kisses to his scowling face because _do you not understand when I say it’s unbearably hot, Thor?_

He loved Loki more than anything – more than Mjolnir, more than the crown, more than himself. Thor constantly praised his brother when no one could hear, telling him how brave this was (for neither of them understood how the pregnancy might work, having no knowledge of any other Aesir men with female reproduction), how proud Thor was, how beautiful their family would be. 

In response, Loki would only blush and occasionally insult him, but his eyes always betrayed him when it came to Thor’s blatant affections; he could tell how pleased Loki pretended not to be. 

***

The fourth day, Loki worsened. He began running a fever, and to Thor’s annoyance, no one could tell him why. They were unable to reduce his temperature any more, and by mid-afternoon Thor was ready to tear his own hair out. 

Then Loki became unconscious again, and that was when a woman pulled Thor aside. 

“We sent someone for your father.”

Thor tried not to show the panic he felt. “Why was I not informed beforehand?”

“Your majesty, _look_ ,” she said, indicating Loki, “we are doing all we can, but it isn’t enough. Don’t you want your brother well again?”

“Of course I do!” Thor snapped with more anger than he meant to, feeling a little guilty when she visibly flinched. “Pardon me. I have not slept well these past days.” 

“It’s understandable,” she said, a little guarded as though to steel herself should Thor be set off again, “but we’ve run out of options.”

***

Odin appeared much sooner than Thor would have liked. When he had thought of having a family with Loki before, he always imagined being able to discuss together how to tell their parents. Then again, he always thought he would know the night he was impregnating Loki, as well (oh, how much more he would have relished that night, but perhaps Loki would be open to the idea of more children). 

Everything was happening so fast, and out of Thor’s control. 

When his father saw him, Thor felt his stomach drop though he tried to exude the nonchalance that Loki excelled in. He expected to be asked a range of questions, any of them somewhere along the lines of _at what point in your raising did we encourage such perversions? Any common wench could mother an heir, and you choose your own brother?_

Instead, his father nodded to him. “Did you only just learn of his state?”

More slowly than his usual speech, Thor answered, “Yes. They told me after I brought him here.” 

It suddenly occurred to him that Odin did not know that Thor was the father. Odin nodded again and turned his attention to Loki. 

“Can you cure him?” Thor asked. 

When Odin looked up again, he seemed more wary. “I can. But I must ask that you leave, Thor.”

Thor’s mouth dropped. “But I’ve been with him since he fell ill!”

“And you will see him soon enough! Now go send for your mother and leave us, everyone!” The answering anger startled Thor, leaving no room for a rebuttal. He wordlessly left with the women who had been in the room with them, and went to find Frigga. 

***

A few hours passed with Loki and their parents alone in that room. Thor was going mad, and quickly. He pressed his ear to the door now and then but heard nothing. Their father had likely placed a silencing charm on themselves, for he knew of Thor’s tendency to go to all lengths to satisfy his curiosities. 

He paced, shoulders tense, waiting. 

***

Loki did not know how much time had passed when he finally stopped crying. He detested showing so much vulnerability, especially in front of their fath – _Odin_ , especially _now_ – and heavily blamed his hormones for being as off as they were. 

Frigga held him to her the whole while, telling him all sorts of soothing words. _Nothing has changed. You have always been our son. We love you still and always will, Loki._

Loki stared numbly at his blue hand, his blue _everything_. He felt hollow (which was ironic, considering the extra life inside him now). He thought he looked dead, like he’d been left to freeze atop an unforgiving mountain. It was strange that while having been transformed into this skin felt normal, for Loki no longer felt like he might die of heat at any moment, he had never felt more unnatural. 

At first, he had been silent, thinking of the potential listening ears just outside the door, until Odin told him no one could hear them. Then he allowed himself to feel, and feel he did – Loki felt so many emotions that he did not know which he should give into first. He shouted at Odin, asking why this and why that and was answered calmly, which for some reason only fueled Loki more, like he _hadn’t_ just been told he wasn’t of their family or even of Asgard - that he had to keep this, this unwelcome, icy hide the entirety of his pregnancy because his Aesir form was apparently too warm for his child. 

What _exactly_ was he giving birth to? The thought that had once filled Loki with whimsical notions now shook him with horror. 

Somewhere in his anger and shock, Thor reentered Loki’s mind and though unwanted, his vision blurred rapidly with the onslaught of tears. Wiping angrily at them did not stop their relentless flow. He detested the pity found in Odin’s gaze, but it did nothing to make Loki compose himself any faster. He let Frigga embrace him, her nurturing words striking him as both comforting and meaningless. 

_I’m a monster, that’s what you think, that I’m atrocious_ , Loki thought, but then realized he’d said it aloud when Frigga rushed to assure him that he wasn’t, and they didn’t think that at all. 

What would Thor say? To know that his brother was not, in fact, his brother, but the stuff of their childhood nightmares? That this bastard child might don the same frostbitten skin that Loki did now? 

Once the tears dried up and remained that way, his mother said to him, 

“Darling, Thor has been waiting urgently outside for you.”

As if on cue, there was a loud knocking upon the door, sounding urgent indeed. Loki thought he might vomit. 

***

Shortly after knocking (for he simply could not _stand_ it anymore), the door opened and Thor was greeted by his parents – but no Loki. They shut the door behind them before Thor could even glance inside. 

“How is he?”

They looked at each other before answering him. 

“Loki is fine; he will not have any more problems with the heat,” Odin said, and Thor was a little relieved. 

“Then may I not see him?” 

“Come walk with us first, Thor. There is a serious matter we must discuss, but I promise that you may then see him,” Frigga told him with a smile that did not reach her eyes. 

It took all of Thor’s control not to simply shove past them and throw himself in that room, but he somehow managed it. He allowed himself to be led away from the healing rooms, even as his body – his very bones – itched to turn around and sprint right into Loki’s arms. 

***

Another time, being alone so long in a confined space would have made Loki uneasy, but for the moment he felt safe, hidden from any judging eyes. Knowing that he could not avoid Thor but unwilling to listen to the tale of his origin a second time, he had asked that Odin and Frigga tell him before they were reunited. When Thor saw him again, Loki wanted him to at least have _some_ kind of preparation. He did not wish to see sheer fright (or revulsion) in Thor’s eyes. 

He was awoken from restless sleep when another knock came. He only had time to sit up as it opened and Thor quietly walked in. He stood off the bed while Thor shut the door, only then turning to finally see Loki for what he really was. 

A fraud, a false prince. Well, Loki was still of royalty, but of Jotunheim? What a useless title, laughable really – Loki might have been told that he was king of all the bilgesnipes and felt the same amount of power. 

***

Thor knew what he would see, but was still rather unprepared when he took in Loki’s new appearance for the first time. His hair was the same – dark, thick waves splashing down his neck and over his shoulders – as was his height and lithe figure. 

He walked toward Loki, observing him as he went. His playful green irises were no more, his eyes now encased in a crimson glaze; his fair skin was consumed by a blue hue, filled in with lighter, intricate markings along his body. Less jarring, but no less noticeable, was the small, black pair of horns protruding from his head, delicately curving into fine points. 

Through all that, his poised stance was the same, as was his stoic expression, only to be betrayed again by his eyes. To another, Loki would have pulled off an indifference, but Thor saw the hesitance, a readiness to flee if faced with rejection. Thor knew better than to show it, but it broke his heart. 

He glanced at Loki’s stomach and wondered what they had truly gotten themselves into.

***

When Thor was close enough to touch, Loki wanted nothing more than to sink into his chest (whether it was his own or Thor’s, he was unsure), but he remained still. 

“Are you,” Thor started but trailed off, and Loki knew that he was trying to carefully pick his words. After a moment, he held out his hand toward Loki’s arm. “May I?”

It stung in a way Loki hadn’t expected to have to be asked for physical contact. Odin had told him that he could control it, but the fact that he had to actively put effort into not burning Thor made him feel disgusting. It was like this body’s default mode was to be repugnant to others. 

***

Loki still hadn’t said anything, but he slowly brought his hand up. He reminded Thor of a lost pet, one that had escaped and been lost to the wild too long. He suppressed his urge to flinch just before Loki placed his hand in Thor’s, telling himself that it was because of the potential burn and not because he’d never actually touched a Jotunn before. 

_Actually, I’ve known a Jotunn’s body more extensively than my own._

There was no pain from Loki’s touch. Satisfied, Thor slowly pulled Loki to him, wrapping him in his arms and burying his face in dark tresses. He needed to comfort Loki in this moment, that’s what mother had said. And he was happy that Loki was safe and well. 

“I was so worried,” he said. 

A harsh laugh erupted from Loki. “And now you’re not?” 

Thor held him tighter, trying to think of how to answer without inciting more sarcasm. 

When Loki spoke again, his voice was soft, shaky. 

“How can you stand me?”

***

Loki missed the embrace as soon as Thor pulled back, placing his hands on Loki’s shoulders. 

“I love you no less. You must know that,” Thor said. But a certain warmth was missing – or was Loki being paranoid? Because damn him, when he looked like that, Loki was actually inclined to believe Thor as he so greatly wanted to. Either his frostbitten brain or his hormones must be making him think irrationally. 

It was only when Thor’s thumbs began swiping gently under his eyes that Loki realized he was crying again. 

“We will get through this, brother.”

Loki shook his head and whispered, “We are not brothers.” And really, that should make him happy for when it was revealed that Thor was the father of his child. But he cried harder, his body aching as it was once again wracked with sobs. 

Thor stayed close and rubbed his shoulders, stroked his hair, giving soft _shh’s_ with small pecks to his face. 

_We are_ , Loki heard him murmur, _we still are_. 

Loki wished that something would swallow him whole. The look in Thor’s eyes resembled Odin too much (in a way Loki’s never could). 

_I’m one of them, Thor. Do not feel sorry for me, but amazed. Of all my magic tricks, this has been the greatest hoax of all, don’t you think?_

***

“Who was your partner, Loki?”

For a few tense moments, neither Loki nor Thor said a word. 

It occurred to Loki that he could easily lie – a nameless man from a drunken night, pretend to not know where he was now. What was worse, looking like a careless slut for a stranger or for his _brother?_

“I was,” came Thor’s voice, not even cracking. Had he been watching this as a scene in some play, Loki would have reveled in the moment’s delicious discomfort.

But this was no play, and Loki looked anywhere but his parents (not parents!) or Thor. The silence that followed Thor’s confession spoke louder than anything Frigga or Odin could have said, weighing down on Loki in the same way as Mjolnir did when Thor used to find it hilarious to pin him down with the weapon. He briefly wondered if the embarrassed blush on his face could ever match the intensity of his new eyes. He would look like the gooey filling of his favorite tart. A pastry with horns. 

What a thought. 

***

Thor’s instinct as he admitted his transgressions was to reach for Loki’s hand, for although he was the one who spoke up, he did not like feeling so alone in meeting their parent’s reactions. However, Loki sat very still, head bowed in what Thor guessed was shame. 

To say that Thor felt awkward in that moment would be to say that Loki’s new appearance was barely noticeable. Frigga’s eyes widened to the point of being comedic; her hand reached out toward Odin, who readily took it into his own. For a moment, Thor was jealous of how acceptable it was for them to seek comfort in one another as a married couple. 

While Frigga repeated the action of parting her lips, presumably to speak before closing them just as quickly, Odin’s gaze bounced between Loki and Thor. As if he was sizing them up, or waiting to hear them say that Thor had only been jesting. 

“I see,” Frigga finally said meekly, obviously not seeing at all. 

Thor didn’t know whether apologizing or staying silent was worse. Before he could make up his mind, Odin stood abruptly, startling them all. 

“Come, dear,” he spoke gently to Frigga, helping her up (she seemed only too enthusiastic to follow his lead). “We’ve details to sort out.” 

Thor’s stomach became riddled with knots as he watched them leave. When he looked back at Loki, hoping to find some sort of comfort, his insides only twisted further to see tears silently fall into his lap. 

He wondered if he should have held his tongue. 

***

Though time seemed to drag on, Odin put plans into motion very quickly. Within only a few days, a meeting with Jotunn ambassadors was arranged and carried out. It was announced to the public that Loki had always known of his true descent, of course, along with Thor, Odin, and Frigga; Thor and Loki’s betrothal was planned from the start of their being raised together. Their marriage (and baby) would truly mark long-lasting peace between those two realms. 

Had he not been at the center of it all, Loki would have said it was undoubtedly the best kept secret of any royal family thus far in Asgard. It wasn’t long before everyone was talking of its excitement: _Can you imagine? All this time, and a frost giant_ right _in the palace, brought up like everyone else! Does he even realize how privileged he is? But it makes sense, does it not, given how cold he has always seemed compared to his broth – beloved_. 

Never before had Loki cared about the occasional rumor or ill word spread about him over the years, but he had to admit that it was new to be called Thor’s domesticated pet, or his custom, imported whore, among other things. And to think they had once been equals. 

***

A week had passed since their engagement and pregnancy were made public.

“What shall we name her?” Thor asked, smiling as he traced his fingers across Loki’s stomach, still flat this early in the pregnancy. 

Thor was making a point to treat Loki no differently than before, which was easier some days than others. If Thor ever felt an occasional apprehension about meeting red eyes instead of green, or a hesitance to touch blue skin instead of ivory, he did his best to ignore it. This was Loki, his brother, who had been raised in Asgard just as long as Thor himself. Loki, who had never even seen Jotunheim except in pictures, just like Thor!

_He cannot help what he is._ That was Thor’s mantra. 

Loki gave a small, rare smile at that. “Her?”

Thor shrugged. “Just a guess.”

He was careful not to touch elsewhere for the time being. Thor knew that Loki was struggling with being seen in this form all the time, for he had admitted it himself as he cried in Thor’s arms. Not in so many words, but Thor had understood. They hadn’t even kissed again. Did Loki wonder at that, or was he grateful for it? Thor wanted Loki to initiate those sorts of touches, should he want them. 

Sometimes Thor wondered if, given the chance, he would swap places with Loki. He liked to think that he would, but who really knew. 

***

Loki avoided mirrors, or at least really looking at them. Oh, he had looked one good time, for no one would have been able to deny _that_ level of curiosity. He wondered what Thor saw when he watched him – a mother, an enemy, someone hideous in place of his brother who he had so often called beautiful? 

Watching as Thor slept on his side of the bed, Loki knew what he thought. He could tell the difference between his Thor and this one. 

_His_ Thor would have insisted on holding him as they dreamed. 

_His_ Thor would crave Loki’s touch, satisfied him day or night. 

_His_ Thor would say I love you and mean it. 

Sometimes Loki thought he was going crazy. Maybe he was the one keeping Thor at a distance. Thor tried his best, Loki knew, to behave as before (aside from physical pleasures), and it made him both grateful and annoyed because it simply _wasn’t_ the same as before. Even after finally giving birth and reverting to his Aesir skin – and the day could not come fast enough – everyone would still know. It would feel no different than using a simple glamor, even though he had spent over a _thousand_ years in that preferred form. Everything felt so unfair. 

Loki, for his part, tried his best not to think about how everything in his and Thor’s upbringing made more sense now: their personalities, the differences in interest, the way people treated them as they had grown up. Thor had simply been born for this life, a sun to Loki’s moon, an overwhelming brightness to Loki’s shadow-meddling, the latter only allowed to shine through the other’s existence.  
King of the bilgesnipe, indeed. 

What he hated the most, however, was that Thor was Mother’s true son, by _blood_. Sometimes he hated Thor for it when he did or said something like her, and had to take deep breaths until his anger passed. After all, Thor was no more responsible for his lineage than Loki was of his own. 

***

“To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, my son?”

Loki shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He had sought out Odin for more answers but now that he was here, he realized that he had never really thought any specific questions through. 

Tea sat steaming on the table between them, alongside a plate of various, untouched slices of fruit. Mother (he was still unable to think of her as simply _Frigga_ ) insisted that tea would do wonders for his condition. He wondered which condition she meant.

Luckily, she was not present for this meeting. She would have softened all their answers, kept Odin from being as blunt as he was wont to be. 

“You _are_ my son, Loki,” Odin added, apparently picking up on Loki’s dislike of the word. 

Loki shrugged. “Is it not in distaste to keep up that appearance when we are without audience?”

Odin laughed at that. “There are many appearances we have had to keep up, lately,” he said, looking at Loki pointedly (his face heat up, still embarrassed by his and Thor’s intimacy being known), “but that one is still true. Whether by blood or by marriage, you are bound to this family.” 

Ah, so he would now play the son-in-law, a representative to Asgard of their friendliest neighbors. Show the people that they weren’t such monsters – just look at how Loki had turned out. Tolerated by the golden prince, himself. 

Loki’s lips pulled into a thin, unkind smile. Inside, he wished for his mother, for whom Loki’s identity would not have been so malleable. He rather wished that she had been there, after all. 

***

(In the darkness of Loki’s room as they laid in bed)

“Do you hate me, Thor?”

“Loki, please do not say such things.”

“Well?”

“I could never hate you.”

“You hate what I am.”

(pause)

“It matters not what you are – I love who you are.” 

“It is difficult to hear you from so far away, you know.”

(shuffling)

“There you are.” 

“Forgive me. I never know if you desire to be held.” 

“I never know if you desire to hold me.” (swallow) “Do you wish it had never been conceived?” 

“Of course not.” 

(laughter) “Liar.”

(sigh) “Loki.” 

“You only say my name like that when I am right.”

“I only wish we knew what to expect.”

“A disappointment like me, perhaps.”

“You know I did not mean that.”

“Yes. I know.”

***

Thor longed to confide his worries to someone, and longed to speak with his closest friends. He was always on the verge of finding them, but could never decide what story to give them, so he had taken to avoiding them instead. They had, no doubt, learned of the elaborate lie of the princes knowing they would be wed someday, knowing they were never truly related. 

There would inevitably be such an interrogation that it overwhelmed Thor just to imagine it. They would surely find him out, for Thor had said things in their early youth that did not match their new façade. And if they realized that Thor _had_ fully believed Loki to be his brother in every way during their secret entangling…

Well, there was a reason they had kept it a secret. 

***

“I’ve been trying to find information about situations similar to mine,” Loki said. They were walking through a garden after dinner. It was rather dark outside, and they were secluded, the only conditions under which Loki enjoyed being outside of his room anymore.

Thor laughed lightly, a pleasant sound. “I am sure that has been difficult.”

“It has,” Loki agreed. He absently kept his hand on his stomach, which had raised a small bit. “But I did learn of something interesting, known as passing.” 

When they came across a bench, Thor gestured to it and they sat down. He surprised Loki by taking his hand in his. “What is that?”

Loki explained it as simply as possible, that in other realms at various points in history there have been times when certain races were held in distaste by the majority – elves looking down upon dwarves, for instance. Well, if an elf impregnated a dwarf and the child inherited dwarfish traits, they would be seen as fully dwarf and treated as such. 

(That doesn’t seem fair.)

(It doesn’t, does it, oaf?)

If a child inherited enough elvish traits, though, they would be able to pass as an elf. Thus, they obtained an easier life, able to bypass potential prejudice. However, it was at the cost of cutting all ties with their previous life, of anything that might give away their true origin, for people could be cruel to those that were found out. They were often torn between their cultural roots or better treatment. 

Once Loki finished, they sat in silence for a long while. Loki watched Thor’s face for any reaction. He swallowed more than once, stroking Loki’s hand. Then he squeezed it and said without looking at Loki,

“You’ve been passing all our lives.” 

Though he didn’t mean to, Loki laughed, making Thor look up at him quizzically. He could not help it; Loki had been so busy applying the term to his unborn child, he had not thought of how accurately it described himself. 

“I suppose I have,” Loki finally commented with a lingering grin, “and now I’ve been outed.” He felt an unexpected lightness about himself. 

Thor let go of his hand, and though it was dark, Loki watched as he leaned forward, elbows on his knees and face in his hands. Loki’s stomach twisted in surprise when he realized that Thor was crying. 

“Why are you crying?”

“ _Because_ ,” Thor said like it was obvious, like he was offended that Loki would even ask. He offered no more details. 

It made Loki feel odd – should he be crying too? Perhaps he’d used all of his tears by now, or maybe they were frozen. 

Loki reached out and placed his hand on Thor’s back, and then Thor was suddenly moving, turning and gathering Loki in his arms, rocking him back and forth like he would a child and apologizing all the while. Loki sighed and said nothing, basking in the feeling of being held earnestly, breathing in Thor’s scent. His face was pressed into the crook of Thor’s neck, hands holding fistfuls of his tunic. 

He did not know if this was a lasting or fleeting feeling from Thor, so Loki savored it as well as he could. Thor rubbed up and down his back, like he was the one comforting Loki instead of the other way around. 

Thor still held Loki to him after he’d stopped crying, and they shared the comfortable kind of silence that had been missing from their relationship for weeks. Loki had remained quiet for fear of sending Thor back to the distant way he’d been lately. 

“Loki?” He said it so softly Loki almost did not hear him. 

“Hm?” 

“Do you remember that this is where I first kissed you?”

Loki’s eyes snapped open, something pulling on his heart at the unexpected memory. “Yes,” he answered, his mouth slowly forming a smile. 

Thor pulled away and conjured a glowing orb to both Loki’s delight and dismay (delight at any act of magic Thor performed, dismay that Thor would be reminded of what Loki looked like). He solemnly cupped Loki’s face in his hands, stroking his cheeks affectionately. 

“I would kiss you again for the first time,” he said, a warmth returning to his gaze that had been absent. 

“As a Jotunn,” he grumbled, unable to prevent the bitterness in his tone. 

But Thor shook his head. “As my partner, and the bearer of our children.”

Loki’s eyes widened as his thoughts began racing; he would have continued to sit, dumbfounded, if not for Thor closing the space between their lips. The sensation was even softer than Loki remembered. They kissed shyly, sweetly, and though Loki usually hungered for more, he was content with just this. 

He tasted something salty and realized he was the one crying now. If Thor noticed his thawed tears, too, he said nothing. 

***

For the next week or so, Thor could not stop thinking about the concept of passing. For Loki, the choice of assimilation had been made for him before he’d ever spoken his first word, before he could even begin to understand the meaning of such a thing. 

He mentioned it to Frigga one day in her room. She sat at her vanity and Thor stood behind her, experimenting with various braids while they spoke of Loki; it seemed they spoke of little else these days. 

“That is indeed interesting,” Frigga said. “I wonder how my grandchild will look.” 

Thor nodded, for he constantly wondered the same thing. Even if the baby could pass for Aesir, it was not up to them to let that happen. With what the public thought and their newest relations with Jotunheim, the child could not hope to escape the truth of their genetics. 

“How is Loki?” 

Thor looked up, finding Frigga’s waiting gaze in the mirror. He knew she was more than a little curious as to Loki’s well-being, for Loki visited her very little. Since the night in the garden, Loki had confessed to Thor that he did not want Frigga seeing him, if he could help it, until after returning to his Aesir form. 

“He is better than before. He is healthy,” Thor remarked. His heart beat a bit faster, and he hid his smile as though he and Loki still kept their romance secret. 

His and Loki’s relationship had improved phenomenally since that night. Their conversations were regaining the ease that could only come with centuries of words. They touched all the time again, although their intimacy still limited itself to chaste kisses, the kind that melted Thor’s heart and gave him hope for their future. 

Frigga nodded as though to say _of course_ , but she seemed sad. Thor felt guilty at enjoying so much of Loki’s company. He told himself that he would try to convince his brother to pay her a visit. 

“Make sure he knows how he is loved, darling. He did not choose this life,” she paused to make sure Thor was paying attention before adding, “but he did choose you.”

***

Thor hit someone. More than hit – had he been allowed to continue, Thor might have pounded the man’s body right into the floor, a bloody mural to depict the prince’s danger when he lost his temper. 

His title was unknown to Thor, having approached him in the dining hall as Thor was leaving. Upon introducing himself, his name had gone in one ear and out the other, for Thor was eager to seek out his brother. Still, he spoke politely with the stranger so as not to give a bad impression of Asgardian hospitality. 

“I must say, my liege, talk of Prince Loki is great throughout the city’s streets. Everyone wishes to catch a glimpse of his true form.”

_This is not his true form._

If he thought Thor was about to discuss the complexity of Loki’s identity when Thor himself had not yet fully breached his brother’s defenses, he was mistaken. 

“I am not surprised by their curiosity,” Thor nodded, speaking with a bit more formality in his tone like his father might have done to discourage further questions, “though it will likely be some time before Loki makes an appearance outside the palace, given how he is with child.”

***

Loki wandered aimlessly through the halls, concealing himself as he went. Odin had requested that Loki always remained visible to at least Heimdall. It was a request rather than an order, perhaps, because he knew Loki to always do as he pleased. 

He had hardly stepped out of his room for the last two days. Some days were better than others when it came to his tolerance for interacting with anyone. Anyone other than Thor, that is, when Loki was honest with himself (which could be difficult). 

Turning a corner, Loki found that he had absurdly come to the dining hall, the place which most consistently had numerous people. His stomach growled loudly, and Loki thought that it wasn’t so absurd after all. He looked around and spied Thor nearby, talking to someone who Loki neither knew nor cared about and crept closer, close enough to hear them. He frowned when he noticed how tense Thor suddenly seemed. 

***

“Of course,” the man agreed. “Congratulations, by the way.”

“Thank you.”

There was something that Thor found unpleasant about him, though he wasn’t sure what. It could have been the arrogance he seemed to barely hide behind flowery talk, or the false comradery that existed in his thin smiles. 

“Perhaps you could answer just one question then, your highness?” he continued, and Thor could not explain the way his gut felt like it clenched in anticipation. The formalities with which he addressed Thor slid off his tongue like an inside joke, but Thor found nothing funny. 

Still, he nodded, even while his expression was, he felt, unfriendly. When he would look at the moment later, Thor would think that perhaps he had unconsciously wanted a reason to release his stress from the last few weeks. 

“Is his quim as cold as they say the frost giant himself is?”

For a moment, Thor only stared at him, wondering if he had just heard the words correctly. It was quite infrequent that anyone spoke so disrespectfully about him or Loki, much less to his face. The man was not speaking quietly, either, and in the background Thor was aware of people stopping their own conversations to listen to this. His hands balled up into tight fists at his sides. 

“I’m sorry,” he continued, seeming happy with obtaining an audience, “I forget – he isn’t exactly a giant, is he? Even by their standards he falls short. Or is _giantess_ more appropriate?” 

***

Loki was paralyzed as he watched Thor throw the first punch, almost instantly knocking the man to the floor before he was upon him again. 

Though he knew he was currently invisible, he still felt his whole body become overtaken by heat, by embarrassment at the man’s comments but also gratefulness for Thor’s reaction. He felt almost like an adolescent again, when Thor had to take up for him more often than not (and though he’d never admit it, sometimes Loki would incite someone’s insults purposefully, just to be sure that Thor still found him worth defending). 

With all the blood beginning to cake the man beneath Thor, Loki thought that he looked more like a pastry than he himself ever did. 

He waited until Thor had nearly gone too far, either out of shock or out of wanting the man to suffer a while, Loki was unsure. No one else dared to step in, for Thor was a frightening sight. But he finally felt his body moving, kneeling beside his brother (not brother), careful not to get hurt himself as he grabbed Thor’s wrist just before he was to bring his fist upon the man again. 

When he looked at Loki, his eyes were wild, his teeth gritting in the aftermath of his snarls. Loki was unnerved before recognition passed across Thor’s face, and his features softened though he still seemed on edge. Thor glanced down at his handiwork, and from his expression Loki thought he might spit on the unconscious bastard. But then he turned back to Loki and, taking his hand, they stood up together. Their eyes remained locked, a familiar tension passing between them that Loki had not felt since that first night he became sick. Thor’s grip on his hand and the way he branded Loki with his gaze suggested that his body still sang of bloodlust, but of a different kind and a different temperament. 

He realized too late that by revealing himself to Thor, he had revealed himself to the whole room. Loki broke their eye contact to survey the crowded hall; he was met with stunned stares from everyone, very few people having seen him yet. The room was filled with a rather horrified, awkward silence and Loki felt himself tremble. He was wearing only a light pair of trousers, feeling too hot in more clothing than that, and felt uncomfortably exposed. 

Taking notice of Loki’s demeanor, Thor turned toward the crowd as well. 

“Disrespect toward Loki will not be tolerated,” Thor announced, his deep voice clear and authoritative and absolutely making Loki throb beneath his trousers, “He is of royal blood. He carries my heir, and I will take any insult to him as a personal offense to myself.” 

Without waiting for any reactions (and what else was there to say? The body at his feet demonstrated the truth of his words), Thor firmly led Loki the short distance out of the room. 

“Take us to your rooms,” Thor ordered once they were in the corridor. Loki obeyed without question. 

***

Surrounded by safe, familiar walls, Thor roughly pulled Loki to him, immediately seeking out lips for a kiss that was entirely unlike their recent ones. In the back of his mind, he was still furious – how dare that imbecile, how dare _anyone_ – but for now he was sufficiently distracted by the desperation with which Loki clung to him, by their mutual devouring of one another’s lips. It was something Thor hadn’t experienced for weeks and certainly was not going to bypass. He had been patient enough. 

He did not bother asking how much Loki had heard earlier. If Loki heard anything, it was already too much, and Thor was determined that Loki should forget every word except the ones Thor might make him utter. 

***

Loki had missed this, how he had _missed_ this, and it hit him as solidly as his back hit the quilts on his bed, as abruptly as Thor was nuzzled between his thighs. Thor, as powerful as the storms he created, keeping him bound in their deep, heated kiss to the point of lightheadedness, demanding nothing less that Loki’s complete surrender. 

It was without fully realizing it that Loki tugged Thor’s tunic up and over his head, but he whimpered when Thor laid himself across Loki, for it seemed like his tan skin was scorching against his own. It was nearly too much, and yet not nearly enough. 

“Brother,” Thor whispered hoarsely into his ear, not having called him by that endearment since the day Loki’s origin came to light. 

***

Thor felt Loki tense beneath him, then push against his shoulders. In response, Thor gathered Loki’s wrists in his hands and swiftly moved them above his head, holding them there with one hand. 

“Do not fight me, Loki,” he warned and kissed greedily along Loki’s neck. 

“Then do not call me that,” Loki answered even as he arched against Thor.

“I will call you what you are.”

Loki shuddered at that. 

Thor growled and rolled his hips down forcefully, pleased with his brother’s gasp. “And you will not tell me otherwise,” he said against Loki’s lips before claiming them with a new ferocity, as though the stronger his aggression, the weaker Loki’s self-doubt. He would try anything to convince Loki that his love was no different than before. 

***

Loki told himself that it wasn’t only Thor’s earlier adrenaline spilling over into his advances now. His own body was still buzzing from the incident, his head swimming with every declaration Thor made. In this moment, if he denied their bond, it was somewhat only because he knew Thor would just as vehemently disagree (and he needed to hear Thor disagree, no matter what he might say). 

He felt Thor relax the hold on his wrists. 

“Do not move,” Thor ordered him, sending a delicious rush down Loki’s spine. He was tempted to defy Thor when he was released, to see what would happen when he was pushed, but he was equally aroused in following the command. 

He kept his eyes shut while Thor removed his own trousers, then Loki’s. For all Thor’s talk and how much better he’d been since the night in the garden, Loki didn’t want to risk looking at him and seeing some sort of disgust in that perfect, golden face. When his body was covered again by Thor’s, Loki could just feel those blue eyes on him. The tips of their noses brushed.

“Loki, look at me,” Thor told him quietly. 

When Loki obeyed him, he almost regretted it. Hunger still persisted in Thor’s gaze, but gone was the rage he’d shown in the dining hall, replaced by an unerring warmth that had Loki’s skin crawling. Thor kissed the corner of his mouth reverently. 

“You are my brother,” Thor murmured. Loki felt the head of his cock gently pressing against his slick opening – at least the arousal was real. 

“And you are _mine_ ,” he continued in that deep rumble of his, pushing in, and Loki had to admit that he could find no trace of deception in the delivery of his claims. He finally moved his arms, one wrapping around Thor’s shoulders, the other hand cupping his cheek, feeling the stubble that Loki himself had never grown, even that making sense now. 

“I am yours,” Loki echoed faintly, not even thinking about whether he believed it. He was so caught up in the way Thor looked at him. They both gasped when Thor slid fully inside, filling Loki like no one else had ever been able to. He mewled softly, giving into Thor’s impatient kiss as their eyes fluttered shut, relief flooding Loki along with pleasure. He had been so afraid that this would somehow feel different than before. 

Thor could not seem to keep his mouth away. If he was not kissing Loki’s lips, then it was his face, his neck, his shoulders. As though he could erase the blue with his attentions. His hands were on the backs of Loki’s knees, keeping him open and exposed, nowhere to hide. His words were sweet in Loki’s ear even as his thrusts were fast, ruthless. 

“Say it,” he urged, and as heat built in Loki’s groin and his toes curled, he relented. 

“Brother,” he panted, mewling in response to Thor’s appreciative groan. 

“Again,” Thor pleaded. Loki’s thighs ached with the strain of Thor holding them. His cunt tightened around Thor as he was fucked deeply, the way Thor knew he liked, producing wet sounds that only drove them further into oblivion. 

“Brother,” Loki sobbed this time, for it felt like the first time they had dared say it in such a compromising position. Thor kissed him again as he came, swallowing his bliss as if he meant to capture it for himself. And when  
Thor came soon after, Loki supposed that maybe he did. 

***

When Loki finally agreed to see Frigga again, his stomach had swollen significantly. He made Thor accompany him, but was still eaten with nerves even when they were finally in her room. 

Frigga came to Loki and hugged him tightly, and for a moment Loki forgot that he had avoided her for months. When she pulled away, there was a knowing smile on her face. She playfully poked Loki’s stomach. 

“What did I tell you about that sweet tooth of yours?”

They all laughed, Loki especially, fighting the sudden urge to cry. 

***

It seemed that Thor had finally taken a liking to Loki’s Jotunn form. Either that or he had found a new fetish in Loki’s pregnant state. 

“Both,” Thor answered, flashing a grin when Loki asked him about it. He’d just finished gently – but firmly, make no mistake, there was no debating him – pulling Loki to the edge of the bed. 

Loki smirked as Thor knelt on the floor, pushing his long legs apart. “Then I advise you to enjoy it while you have it.” He was due soon with a girl, as Thor had predicted. 

Thor chuckled, his breath warm on Loki’s inner thigh before placing a kiss there. 

“You would not appease me, your husband-to-be, by taking this form sometimes?” His lips tickled along Loki’s skin as he spoke, inching further up his thigh. 

A Midgardian phrase came to mind. “Perhaps every once in a _blue_ moon,” Loki said and laughed. The laughter subsided, however, in lieu of a moan when Thor pressed a warm kiss against his cunt, slick fingers circling his other hole. 

“I’ll hold you to that,” Thor promised in a low voice. He breached Loki’s entrances simultaneously, his tongue in one and his hand at the other, and it wasn’t long before Loki completely forgot the arguments he had intended to make. 

***

There had been many debates on whether or not the wedding ceremony should be a grand affair. After the comments that man had made to Thor in the dining hall, Loki had let hardly a soul see him. His very pregnant belly did not help his self-consciousness. 

Odin wanted everything to be as close to regular tradition as possible, and so was very moody about Loki’s insistence on having only as many people in attendance as was necessary. 

“I’ve had everything in my life chosen for me, can I not at least choose this _?”_ That had really shut Odin down. Loki almost felt bad that he was using this part of himself to appeal to Odin’s guilt, but then, had he not asked for it in some way when he made the decision to take Loki?

Finally, Odin had relented; the ceremony included only the royal family and a handful of ambassadors from different realms. Loki anticipated the lingering feeling of embarrassment that came as they were wed. After all, both Frigga and Odin knew the truth of their relationship. He was relieved, however, that Laufey had chosen to send a delegate in his place; he’d had his fill of awkward family gatherings for the next three centuries.  
In the end, the only person Loki truly could focus on was Thor. His formal attire was tailored perfectly, every strand of hair in place, even his teeth seemed somehow straighter than they already were as they peeked out from behind his broad smile. 

Loki had never believed in the idea that everything happened for a reason, but he was grateful that everything happened to lead them to this point (for had he not become with child, he surely would not have been standing there now, but some woman in his place). And when they finally kissed, Loki knew – if he knew nothing else – that this was his Thor he was marrying. 

***

Thor hardly listened to the orator that walked them through their marriage oaths. He repeated words when he was told, but he could not tell anyone what he had just finished saying. It mattered little; he and Loki had learned all about royal weddings enough in their early youth. 

Loki stood before him in a loose, nearly sheer garment. He had become more sensitive to heat as his pregnancy wore on, and though Thor had developed a certain fondness for his exotic (as he teasingly called him) brother – _husband_ – he also looked forward to Loki feeling comfortable in his own skin again. 

“I have so longed for this day,” Thor whispered just loud enough for Loki to hear, barely moving his lips so as not to offend the proceedings. 

Loki smiled at him fondly and answered softly, “As have I.”

Thor was certain the whole room must have heard his pulse, louder to Thor than the drums of war and just as piercing. 

***

Eydis was born, to both the surprise and relief of everyone involved, without any extraordinary complications. Thor stayed in the room all the while, and their parents both just outside. Thor tried to get a better look at their daughter, but the healers were crowding her, whisking her away to clean her up and subdue her cries as soon as she was out. 

“Where is she?” Loki asked weakly, trying to sit up. 

“Shh, she will be back soon,” Thor cooed and gently coaxed Loki to remain lying down. He sat on the bed beside his brother, smiling as he pushed damp strands of hair from Loki’s face from where they stuck to the sweat he’d produced. Taking a cloth from the side table, Thor carefully rubbed the sweat away, trailing kisses as he went. 

“I’m so proud of you,” he told Loki before kissing his lips, feeling Loki’s hand caressing his own cheek. He pulled back enough to ask, “Are you ready for another one?” Thor laughed at the eye roll he received in answer. 

“Idiot,” Loki muttered and shook his head. “Two is plenty.”

Thor pretended to look around the room. “I see no more children.”

Loki laughed this time, stroking Thor’s hair. “To find him, you need only look into a mirror.” 

***

She was the most perfect thing Loki had ever seen. Eydis was brought to them wrapped in a silky white blanket, only her face uncovered. Although he wanted to greedily thrust his arms out and demand to hold her, Loki made no objections when she was first given to Thor, who still sat beside him on the bed. He knew that Thor had waited and yearned much longer for this moment than he had. 

He didn’t think he’d ever seen a larger grin on his brother’s face. 

“Oh, Loki,” he breathed. 

With Thor in no position to impede him, Loki sat up, eager to see the little face that had already given them so much trouble in such little time. He leaned against Thor’s shoulder, his breath catching in his throat when he saw her. 

She was not as pale as Loki, but she was much fairer than Thor. He pulled the blanket back on her head enough to see that she already possessed a thick head of dark hair. It was when she opened her eyes, though, that Loki found himself as deeply tied to her as he was to his husband. She looked around at everything and nothing, unable to focus yet, with Thor’s very eyes. 

“My darling,” Loki said, “I will do anything for you.” 

“Anything,” Thor echoed in agreement. Their eyes met then, and Loki knew that they were silently making the same vow to one another. He had not thought he could still feel so whole; his chest felt close to bursting with the feeling of it. 

***

“Shall I admit the king and queen?” a healer asked as Thor handed Eydis over to Loki. 

“Give us a few more minutes,” Thor said without sparing her a glance. He wrapped an arm around Loki’s shoulders, captivated by the affectionate gaze with which Loki looked upon their daughter. It was a look so rare for Loki to have for anyone, even _before_ the pregnancy, and Thor was afraid that he would never be so happy again as he watched the two loves of his life together for the first time. 

“My sweet girl, Eydis, aren’t you our sweet girl?” Loki babbled, full of sugary words. He tenderly stroked her cheek with his finger tip, and they both gasped at what happened. Eydis turned blue before them, a lighter shade than Loki and without markings. 

“I can’t believe it,” Thor said, for her bright eyes did not become red but remained blue as ever. He and Loki looked at each other, both at a loss. They looked back to her when she giggled. 

“I think we have a little rule breaker,” Thor said fondly, “I wonder where she might have gotten that from.” 

Loki chuckled. “You try now.”

Thor obeyed and touched her forehead. She squealed as the blue faded, returning to her former complexion. 

They didn’t bother mentioning it when Odin and Frigga came in. 

***

The next several days were a blur. Loki and Thor spent all their time with Eydis, Loki only touching her skin when they were alone because he was still in his Jotunn form. He wanted to wait until his body was in its normal condition again before changing back, which happened quickly with the fact that he’d always been quick to heal and the help of his seidr.

One day, he and Thor looked in the crib together where Eydis slept. They had a nursery built for her just across the hall of their master suite, in which they’d been staying since the wedding. 

Loki looked up momentarily to watch Thor, a blush creeping into his cheeks at the stirring of his own arousal. He thought about how Thor had truly proven his love over the last year or so. He could have treated Loki as less than, or let him stumble alone through his discovery of being Jotunn, but he didn’t. He remained loyal to Loki then, as he did now. And he looked to Eydis with such adoration that Loki often had to turn his head to hide his building tears. 

Loki still wondered sometimes if he was worthy of such devotion, but had decided to simply try to accept it as long as Thor chose to offer it up. Maybe Thor was meant to have to accept Loki so that he could accept Eydis without question. The thought comforted him. 

Perhaps feeling Loki’s gaze on him, Thor looked up with a smile that should have blinded anyone exposed to it. The smile fell when he saw Loki’s smirk, interest taking its place when Loki barely traced cool finger tips down his bare arm. 

Loki looked to the appointed nurse, telling her to keep watch and stay alert while they left momentarily. 

***

Thor followed Loki across the hall to their shared rooms; Loki made sure to sway his hips in an exaggerated manner, knowing that Thor would eat it right up. Once Thor shut the door behind him, he allowed Loki to push him back against it, pressing their bodies close. 

He felt Thor’s hands on his hips, pressing firmly in his flesh and drawing him even nearer. Their kiss was needy, having had too little time for this kind of intimacy since Eydis was born. Their mouths worked together ravenously, with the familiar ease of a well-rehearsed dance. First closed, now lick. Part. Moan. Lick. Nip. 

Loki was breathless when Thor moved away, sighing helplessly as the softness of his lips and the scratch of his stubble assaulted his neck. His nails practically tore through Thor’s tunic as he dragged them along his muscled torso. 

“Darling,” Loki uttered, his face feeling heated at the endearment which he’d never used before with Thor. 

However, Thor only growled in that way that meant he was pleased, his hands finding and kneading Loki’s arse. He thrust his hips forward, grinding their arousals together, kissing the spot just in front of his ear as Loki whimpered. 

“Yes?” he asked, and Loki could imagine his arrogant smirk. He always loved being able to work Loki up to the point of incoherence. 

“I would…slip into something more comfortable,” Loki murmured into his ear, chuckling softly at his use of the tired expression. The chuckle turned to a gasp when Thor’s hand suddenly rubbed against the wetness seeping through his panties. 

“As would I,” Thor answered, the devilish bastard. 

Well, there was no reason they couldn’t both have their way. 

***

Thor accepted Loki’s lips on his again, moaning when Loki palmed him firmly through his trousers, making them even more uncomfortable than before. Loki bit his bottom lip, tugging it playfully before pulling away. When Thor opened his eyes again, he was startled to find green eyes looking back at him. 

“What have you done with my brother?” he teased as he took in every inch of ivory skin. Even the horns were no more. Loki smiled as he asked,

“Are you pleased?”

Thor nodded. “Of course. As long as you are.” It was almost like there were two Lokis, and Thor thought of them both with a different fondness. 

Loki slipped his fingers into the waistband of Thor’s trousers, tugging at them as he stepped back. “I am.”

Thor pulled his tunic over his head and tossed it aside as he was guided to the bed (as though he needed guidance). Loki waved his hand carelessly and the rest of their clothing was gone as well. They eyed one another wordlessly, openly, and fell into another embrace just a few paces from their destination. 

Sometimes Thor thought he lived solely for the way he could make Loki sound in the bedroom. His cock throbbed as they maneuvered, ever more entangled, onto the plush bedding. Loki, more articulate than any man in the royal court, reduced to pants, sighs, screams – his vocabulary consisting of little more than what he knew would further arouse himself and Thor. Little else was more pleasing. 

“How would you have me, brother?” he asked, impatient. He saw goosebumps rising along Loki’s arms as he pushed Thor onto his back. 

“Inside me, of course,” came the cheeky reply while Loki moved to straddle above Thor’s hips, facing away from him. A deep groan rumbled from Thor as he realized Loki’s intention. He admired the view of Loki’s wild hair, his lithe torso, his rounded cheeks. 

Loki took Thor’s cock in his hand, and he hissed as Loki teased him by rubbing his warm, wet lips across the head a few times and smearing its oozing precum. Soon, Thor felt his entrance, felt himself sliding in, _watching_ himself slide in as Loki pressed down. And Loki took him all the way, as he always did. It was a struggle to keep still, but Thor knew that Loki enjoyed being in control when he chose this position. 

Leaning forward, Loki placed his hands on the bed in front of him. Then he was moving, starting with a quick pace, and Thor’s breath soon came in shallow pants as he saw his cock sink into Loki’s quim over and over, feeling heady at the sight of himself glistening with Loki’s cum, of his pliant lips being pushed and pulled along his length. A string of moans steadily fell forth from Loki’s mouth, the sound alone nearly enough to have Thor spill, but he held off, wanting to prolong Loki’s pleasure as long as possible. 

It became more difficult when Loki straightened himself, his hands leaving the bed. He gathered his hair up, holding it off his neck with one hand and the other resting on his own thigh. His head turned to the side, giving Thor a view of his profile, of his closed eyes and parted red lips. 

“Thor,” he whined as he rocked his hips back and forth desperately, the most sultry thing Thor had ever seen. 

“Brother,” Thor gasped as Loki’s walls tightened further, “you’re taking me so beautifully. Can you come without touching yourself?”

Loki gave a few quick nods, loose strands of hair falling around his pretty face. “Yes, Thor – ah, _yes_.” It was only moments before he was climaxing, crying out obscenities and clenching around Thor. It felt wonderful, but Thor tried not to focus on it to prevent following suit. 

He waited a short while after Loki stopped moving, letting him catch his breath and giving himself time to calm down. Still inside his brother, Thor reached and gently pulled Loki down so that he was laying with his back along Thor’s front. 

***

Bringing his hand up to turn Thor’s head, Loki leaned in for a kiss, both of them humming their pleasure. He could feel that Thor was still fully hard. 

“You did not spill,” he whispered, still rather hazy himself. He felt Thor reach around his waist, holding him firmly. He gasped when Thor began slowly thrusting inside him anew. 

“I will have you come undone again,” Thor answered. Loki bit his lip, spreading his legs further even though Thor was already buried in him. Tilting his chin so that he looked up again, Thor said in his ear, “Let me see you.”

Loki moaned, knowing what his brother wanted of him. He slowly muttered a spell, distracted as he was by the tongue tracing his ear, blushing hard when his magic was performed. Above them loomed the illusion of a large mirror, reflecting all of the bed and the two of them in it. 

“There we are,” he saw and heard Thor say, a satisfied smile in place as he drove into Loki faster. They did make a striking pair. “I would see you like this every day.”

“Like what?” Loki asked, feeling himself become even slicker as he saw as well as felt himself fucked open on Thor’s length. He was completely wrecked and couldn’t bring himself to care. 

“Ruined,” Thor panted, “so eager for your brother’s cock, unable to do anything but sate your needs by keeping your legs spread for me anytime I might choose to take you, however I wish.” 

Loki mewled as he listened, his eyes shutting. He loved when Thor spoke like this, for it didn’t happen unless he was in a particular mood. 

“Look, brother,” Thor ordered him in a low tone. Loki opened his eyes in time to watch as Thor’s hand reached between his legs and began rubbing his clit, making him moan loudly. 

“Does it please you to be touched in this way?” 

“Yes, yes.” 

“Would another satisfy you?”

Loki shook his head. “Please, Thor, harder.” 

The grip around his waist tightened a bit before Thor granted the request, his powerful legs moving with a fluid precision that was beyond Loki’s current grasp. Thor used his thumb and pointer finger to repeatedly pinch Loki’s clit, feeling similar to how a vibration would. The moans Loki had previously produced turned to outright sobs, overwhelmed by the delicious warmth overtaking the center of his body. 

“How do I feel?” Thor asked, watching Loki intently. 

“So good, so full – _brother_ ,” Loki gasped, knowing better than to not answer. “I’m so close, please.” 

“Please what?”

“Let me come.” 

Thor’s answering huff – panting too much for a real chuckle – made Loki squirm. He held eye contact in the mirror, intense and unapologetic as he crooned into Loki’s ear,

“ _Come_.” 

For the next few minutes, all Loki knew was the sensation of hurdling through a dark, vast sky, speckled with stars, pulled toward the unrelenting light of the sun. 

***

Eydis grew. She walked then ran, babbled then spoke. She laughed at everything – at the way Thor threw her high in the air, the relentless tickles given by Loki, at Frigga’s parlor tricks and Odin’s silly stories. She was especially amused when she was in trouble with Thor, for she had picked up a habit of favoring her Jotun skin so as not to be caught by father. 

Loki had never laughed harder the first time it happened, at the moment when she _realized_ that Thor would could not touch her blue skin, the look of shock when he went to grab her hand only for her to transform at the last second. 

She loved sleeping in her parents’ bed during a storm, though not from fear, for there was little that scared her in her curious youth. 

“Tell me a story,” she would ask Loki, and continuously surprised him with her ability to follow even the most complicated tales, rarely falling asleep until their completion even as Thor quietly snored behind her. 

***

“Why can father not turn blue like us?” she asked once. 

“Your father and I have different gifts, and we gave our different gifts to you. Don’t you like them?” Loki answered, running a brush through her tangles. 

She nodded. “I will be a warrior _and_ a sorcerer, _and_ hold Mjolnir, _and_ be a princess!” 

Loki sometimes felt weak when she talked like that, his precious doll with those blue eyes, already asserting her place in the world. “Of that, darling, I have no doubt.”

***

Loki and Thor watched as Eydis played in the snow of the garden. It was summer yet, but she adored when Thor and Loki combined their powers to create something new. They stood outside their creation, preferring the sun, their sides pressed together. 

“Loki.”

“Yes, brother?” Loki thought of how strange the term sounded sometimes, for they only used it if Eydis did not hear (though he doubted they’d ever be able to really shake it off). He wondered what version of their past they would tell her once she was older, what she might hear from others. 

“Would you change anything?” 

Loki did not have to ask what he meant. It was a question Thor would ask sometimes, though he was always given the same answer. He found Thor’s hand and laced their fingers together. 

“No, I would not,” he said readily, enjoying the feeling of Thor squeezing his hand. 

He looked at the little blue girl catching snowflakes on her tongue, then turned to face his brother, lover, husband. Thor smiled shyly while Loki brushed loose hair from his face, accepting the soft kiss that followed. 

They broke apart, laughing at Eydis’s exaggerated sounds of disgust at their romantic gesture. Loki watched Thor run to her, scooping her up (the darling having returned to Aesir skin to keep from hurting him), calling for Loki to join them through their giggles. As he made to appease their cries, Loki knew he had spoken the truth. 

He would not have changed a thing.


End file.
